I’ve been increasingly asked –
How do I know that I’ve found my vision?
Mission in life?
My calling?
My purpose?
Invariably, this is a question posed by those that are convinced all of these are the same and the search for meaning and happiness is typically commingled into these concepts that are sloppily thrown together.
In my experience, this question is asked by those (typically men in my conversations) that have a yearning for certainty, for meaning, and a stirring distaste for where they are currently in life. The dissatisfaction manifests itself in a variety of unhelpful behaviors, attitudes, and many times relationships – all of which are fueled by a set of cloudy choices that put them in these weird spots to begin with.
There is definitely movement, albeit slight in many cases, towards something greater – something that you know is possible – hell you may even be at the point of claiming it as your right – just by putting the question forward.
It just kills me to know that many out there, never even get to the point of asking the question of themselves. These are men and women that are playing the roles and bit parts they have been given by others that wrote the scripts of their lives.
Follow the ‘play book’ and things will be handled just fine if you stick to the script. So it is unspoken, but played out everyday.
Many are doing ‘just fine’ and seemingly happy with the level of love, life, happiness, and meaning that they are experiencing across their lives. This is cool. The point of this online project is to take a few moments and examine if what you have been doing, believing, and being are in fact truly what you truly are meant to do, believe, and become.
Or is there more?
There is.
All you have to do is look at those that have done the self examination and landed upon their own vision.
I have found a handful of people in the last few years that have been able to look me square in the eye, and say ‘Yes – I AM, living my dreams out.’
You know what? Their energy and vibe is memorable.
They are fully active and engaged in the conversation, and in many interactions with these people – they have a different flow wherever they are and through whatever they are doing. It is almost as if they are plugged into a different energy source.
Not operating on batteries that someone plugged into them…
However, even these individuals (this ‘being an individual’ is a precursor to actually living out your vision purposefully) have all admitted that they could improve on bringing forward more happiness and meaning in selected DOLs where in the past they have let them languish. These are the people that are asking how to best leverage the Energy and Action Framework to get even greater meaning infused throughout all Dimensions of Life. When we speak about the ways in which they can tactically and practically go about this – they get even more excited.
This is because they have their ‘Why Fuel’ in hand.
So last year, I reset a few different things in my life, and one of them was this notion of ‘true purpose’ or ‘future vision’ of myself. I invested in the books, some online classes, and read too many online blogs and other resources to mention. Many of these were partially helpful, mainly generic, and many times rip offs of the last three things I had just finished off – prior to devouring the latest resource that was in my hands.
Well, I knew that I had to trust the process as I had a couple of different coaches engaged on contracts, I was seeking feedback on things from many of my closest relationships, and I knew that I wanted that electric energy that I witnessed in a few of my most seasoned mentors. I knew that this energy was palpable, very attractive, and high voltage as purpose can fuel the seemingly impossible.
Many times – purpose is the fundamental ingredient that catalyzes the future.
Energy and action also help…
Well, I’ve outlined in a prior post some leading questions that can help you narrow the field of vision, and begin to isolate on the energetic points of light for yourself. This will feel like progress.
It may also feel exceptionally maddening.
Confusing.
Frustrating.
If you know someone close to you that has this sense of purposeful clarity – it likely will amplify the need to figure this out even faster.
The trick is to trust the journey, and keep answering the questions that I’ve laid out earlier. These questions will lead to many of your own personal questions. Get the answers that you come up with out on paper. Digital or written.
Be open to revisions and changing your mind, whatever you come up with will be a point in time.
For me, this process lasted for months, and this was after an even longer period of time involved in professional coaching and mentoring with trained professionals that are fantastic.
Do you want to know what my problem was?
Well first of all – thinking that I had problem as I didn’t land on the vision immediately – was a problem. Judgement and labeling problems are counter productive in this journey.
Once I moved past this limiting belief of believing I had a problem, I then began to realize that I had too much…
Too many interests…
Too many talents…
Too many options to pursue…
Every conversation was another data point to process…
Every resource had another possible approach to figuring this out…
I was simply overwhelmed.
I was searching way too hard.
So what did I do?
I stopped searching.
I focused on a few key questions, and kept revising the answers as there was always something behind the most recent version of the answer.
I got pissed off with this process by the way.
Really pissed.
Why could I not actually answer these questions convincingly for myself.
Well, I kept grinding on the answers.
Then things began to change. I had some of the closest people in my life asking me how I was doing with my search, unprompted.
I had them, again unprompted, begin to explain what it meant to live with a purpose that they felt in their bones. I began to receive encouragement from these folks that loved me the most – to stick with it. Increasingly, I was being told that I had something to share, even if I didn’t have the purpose perfectly phrased or even moderately understood.
They were seeing the certitude developing.
They could see the intensity of my mission forming.
They became convinced that this was going to happen.
Then I started to receive referrals to other resources that I had never found before, and I’m a serious Googler…
Then I started to get some personal referrals to others – just to bounce ideas off of.
Guess what happened?
By this point, I was ready to have the conversation….
The biggest breakthrough came for me – as I was asking the ‘how will I know’ like Whitney Houston – but I wasn’t talking about the ‘how will he love me’ line of that song from the 80’s…
I was talking about my core vision.
My mainline power source hookup.
The guidance I got back was about the energy. The guidance was this via a Skype session, and I’ll be elaborating on this window of light in a future post –
‘You need to follow that electric current all the way to your source. That is where the answer is. You have found the current, now find the source of it.’
I knew where the current was NOT coming from, so I at least had a direction. I was already in motion, so I could steer this thing.
The journey continued.
The guidance and unasked for assistance was there waiting for me, seemingly every day from a variety of ‘coincidental sources.’
I was no longer searching.
I was attracting the answer, and I damn sure knew it. I could feel it.
I continued to grind away on some more detailed questions, until one night on a business trip.
The answer clicked for me, and it was so simple.
I had been told the vision many times over, and I was not listening.
I was not open.
The electrical current lead me home to the answer I already knew. My father gave me the story when I was a teenager that was the catalyst for my own answer. He did not provide me my answer, only the story through which I uncovered it. Decades earlier…
[As an aside – his story is likely one to be shared down the line, a profound message from him while he was in the depths of a near death experience…]
I stopped working on everything that night.
Closed the laptop.
Closed the journal as part of my nighttime routine.
Literally prayed that I could somehow sleep on this, and that the answer would be the same in the morning after a bit more prayer and a bit more reflection. I knew it was the truth.
I slept incredibly well, and the next morning came.
I reviewed my journal before hitting the gym.
I knew it was right.
I knew it would energize everything for me. (although I didn’t understand by how much at the time)
I knew I was blessed to have arrived at this point, as it would unlock a new life for me.
What I didn’t know at the time was how this notion of relevance would surface over and over.
I did not know then that many of the things that were seemingly so important were now tools to fuel me forward on the much more relevant vision that was much more coherent and encompassing.
I did not know then how many others do not experience this type of flow each day.
I did not know then that many are not living their day to day lives in accordance with their true vision with a coherence of clarity, energy, action, meaning, and of being the best version of themselves today only to do it all over again tomorrow – with a vitality and enthusiasm.
I did not know then that many are seeking a toe hold with a simple practical first step that they can actually do, right away.
I did know that I could help.
I did know that I could use my gifts to their fullest extent possible in this spirit of helping those around me.
I am now doing my vision.
The clarity has only increased in the intervening months, and the energy is coming from somewhere that I cannot explain.
I find myself saying that I’m on fire now. Others are saying similar things as well.
Must be that ‘Why Fuel…’
