When I launched this project, there were a couple of core truths that I knew would resonate with others – particularly men aged 30-55 or so. As I shared some of the framework I have developed, as a set of integrated approaches – the guys I discussed this with – came hard at me. Not a Tyler Durden haymaker level of ferociousness, although one conversation did piss me off to the point of no return.
These men and women were demanding that I start to share some of this stuff – thus this project was opened up based upon a couple of kicks in the ass delivered by people that I truly care a lot for and respect just as much.
As I exercised some of the thinking informally, this idea of an integrated life was always an attractive idea, however so many of guys and women have no clue where to start. The days of non action continue to stack up…
Those that I’ve met that actually have a clue on where to get a toe hold – typically are focusing on a handful of DOLs – usually financial, career, and a third area of focus – many times the generalized ‘family or love.’ In my experience, the plans are well known in these areas, and many times integrated reasonably well. Yet when you ask most men (and women) nowadays why they are doing what they are doing – a bunch of scripted answers come pouring out, many times haltingly.
What a disgrace, right?
Well…what do you expect?
There is an untold amount of books/sites/resources – in addition to this project – all aimed at helping individuals, sometimes teams, sometimes families, sometimes businesses in honing in on this cornerstone ‘why’ statement. It could be a corporate mission statement, cultural manifestos for your company or online community, or the vision statement of yourself.
We think this magical statement of intention typically with rich words with many syllables will fuel us forward.
So we fixate on getting a mission statement.
Or a vision statement.
Or plan for the plan.
Surely there’s a checklist in a book somewhere that will give this to you, right? So you dive into the ocean of resources that are many times a T-shirt sized fit, rather than customized to your specific point in life.
Yet the search outwardly via Amazon and Google continues…
Talk about overload. Talk about overwhelm of resources. Talk about looking in the wrong places…
So if you have a clue or if you don’t really have any idea aimed at achieving a more integrated posture with your life plan – you are likely overloaded and overwhelmed. I know many guys that are in this exact MINDSET. Now you are even more frustrated then when you started. (As an aside – your frustration is a whole other set of conversations….we’ll hit that later this year…)
So you sit there on your flabby duff and say mañana…
Here’s the point blank truth…
… none of the above matters.
It is all a bunch of garbage stories that we tell ourselves individually and as members of familial, collegial, work-related, and ultimately cultural tribes. I’ll leave out familial, collegial, and work related dynamics – although I’m sure we each have less than helpful stories we tell ourselves in each of these circles we live within.
Aren’t these garbage stories we tell ourselves convenient as we have developed a culture of numbness. (just one glass of wine or just one more minute on my iPhone…)
A culture of avoidance.
A culture of willful neglect of our most precious gift – our own life which ultimately is the outward expression of our daily choice.
Our ability and courage to choose –
… powers our thoughts and feelings we invoke from moment to moment…
… this provides fuel for the magic of words.
As our words bend reality, our actions build the reality that we express in our thoughts and words – both positive and negative.
So – what’s the point with this esoteric set of notions???
Well we get to choose how best to proceed. Not choosing is a choice, by the way…
It is so clear to me that many would make better choices if they understood that starting is the most important thing – in any direction – on any DOL.
Momentum is magnetic.
Momentum is based upon energy and action.
Once someone has started moving, now we can begin steering ourselves. Without movement, there is no direction to be had, you cannot steer a damn thing if you aren’t actually moving – so you must start. The EAF is an architectural approach to your life, and ultimately a vehicle to drive the best possible expression of yourself.
In the next post – I’ll outline what exactly a Dimension of Life is and how I’ve defined a DOL as a concept. It recently dawned on me that I launched this project without any regard to actually spelling out what a Dimension of Life is…
Well that’s about to change.
